This blog has so many pieces of people that I love within its writings. There is one person in my life that has understood me from the beginning of time. A love such as hers will never be replaced.
I dedicate this blog to my Mimi, whom we lost July 15, 2018. I share much of the health struggles that I have been diagnosed with, with her. She never found answers passed superficial and simple, common descriptions. For that, I am so sorry for her.
She left behind a husband of nearly 60 years, 2 children, a son in law, daughter in law, four grandchildren, two grandson in laws, one granddaughter in law, and one great grandchild.
You shone brightly into my window this morning – maybe it wasn’t you, but I have a hard time doubting that it wasn’t because of the peace that fell over me inside the madness that was hanging over my head… I shed a few tears – I don’t believe that I could ever not miss you.
You and I spoke about the genetics of all that we were struggling with. Though you were never diagnosed, you told me you had the same sort of problems with your health that I do. I hated that for you.
Mimi, I know you loved reading my writings. I still feel that I should send you a link to each new one that I add… and each realization that follows hurts just as much as the first. We also had conversations about our memories. And though I don’t follow many back to the day, still: I can feel your hugs. I can hear your voice and picture your arms opened wide for me to fall into. I pray that I will never lose these distinct senses in the middle of memories that fade naturally.
You were more than a beautiful soul.
Your smile lit the room with an overwhelming JOY and LOVE!
I long to create awareness with this blog. I long to help just one person. With the love and strength that you’ve given me through my life, I believe that in one way or another, I will fulfill that longing.
“Bailey, you were made for great things in this life, but don’t look for them. Let them come to you.”
You gave me belief to put in myself. You showed me unconditional love. Every time a call interrupted something that you were in the middle of, you dropped it all immediately – because nothing was more important to you than your family.
You saw something in people that others somehow are not able to pick up on. If anyone began to doubt themselves, you were there to stop it from taking them over. I know this because time and time, you caught me, too.
Even though I will forever wonder the words you requested for me to hear on the day that you finally let go… Your last laugh that I heard from you, the big, belly rolling laugh, will forever be a song in my heart.
“Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.”
When you left us in this foreign world, a great warmth went with you. I never felt how cold this world was, I suspect because you covered us with your prayers and overwhelming love. I’ve never felt the pain in my heart that I felt when you left. I’ve never seen the brokenness or tears that require us all to fix each other as we lay broken, ourselves.
I miss your beauty. I miss your warmth. I miss your laugh and your playful nature.
When my time is up, (I kept your promise, Mimi!), so I hope that you are doing the same for me.. I look forward to everything you have to show me when we meet again.
Do not worry, Brady and I will never forget your last written words to us, “Do not fix what was never broken!”
Even though our hearts are broken, and missing several large pieces – we won’t attempt to fix it. God has made so strong in our weakness.
Memories are a way of holding onto the things you LOVE,
the things you ARE,
the things you NEVER want to LOSE.”
We love you, Mimi. ❤️