Black Dog.

Anxiety and pain have been the only two emotions I’ve experienced this year. Yes, this entire year. Blow a bit of happiness across the surface of it all, like glitter, but that’s all that it’s been — specks that shine in the light when you focus enough to see them. In a room of blinding … Continue reading Black Dog.

We’re breathing underwater.

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” “I think you don’t feel good, you’re tired, you’re scared, you feel alone, and there are a lot of unknowns right now.” https://youtu.be/WgKTCweubC8 We've all been told when we were littleWe could grow up and live a fairy tale,But no one ever bothered telling us thatThe storybook ending … Continue reading We’re breathing underwater.

“Stay inside order”: My mind…

is a mess of confusion with no possibility of finding any answers. Y’all too? This is so exhausting... The emotional turmoil is too much sometimes. Just. Trust. - nothing more, nothing less. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and … Continue reading “Stay inside order”: My mind…

Three

https://youtu.be/2GNYSWeCwDg “I told you I'd spill my guts.I left you to clean it up,I'm bursting out of the.... Seems like now, it's impossible to work this out.I'm so committed to an old ghost town.Is it really that strange if I always wanna change?And if only - the time and space between us wasn't lonely,I'd disintegrate … Continue reading Three

When a song is the definition of you…

I'd like to tell you that my sky's not blue, it's violent rain And in my world, the people on the street don't know my name In my world, I'm seven feet tall And the boys always call, and the girls do too Because in my world, I'm constantly, constantly havin' a breakthrough (Hmm) Or a breakdown, or a … Continue reading When a song is the definition of you…

Upside Down.

My upside down is filled with: Nights to sleep - while I lie awake, Time for adventure - is the time I take, to prevent getting sick, to prevent the pain today, to prevent an asthma attack, to rest for tomorrow's plans - so I lay down, to pull the energy from anywhere around me, … Continue reading Upside Down.

I dare you.

And all of the doctors sang in a harmonious tune "we told you so". I just don't like to be told what to do. 🤷🏻‍♀️ You go to a doctor for help. And I'm not sorry for expecting a solution in any case - especially for my chronic illnesses. If I had a dollar for … Continue reading I dare you.

You’re sorry.

"I'm sorry that I don't know what you're feeling!" It's always said out of anger; I think because you're tired of me "not trying" - such that its obvious to you. Or Maybe because I don't have the energy to fight. Maybe because I don't have the energy to feel such an intense emotion, Maybe … Continue reading You’re sorry.

Priorities.

My biggest source of pain, hurt, betrayal, and truth. Priorities. They show you what matters to other's - and when it doesn't turn out to be you, and you've given them your all... I wish I knew how to not wear my heart on my sleeve... Then I have heard that because I do, it … Continue reading Priorities.

Feral.

She's different. You pushed her to be different. Her life is full of suppressing her differences so that she can fit in and look popular at school. She pulls it off well. At home, she walks into the door, and collapses - trying not to make it too obvious. Her sister doesn't collapse. At home … Continue reading Feral.