Black Dog.

Anxiety and pain have been the only two emotions I’ve experienced this year. Yes, this entire year. Blow a bit of happiness across the surface of it all, like glitter, but that’s all that it’s been — specks that shine in the light when you focus enough to see them. In a room of blinding … Continue reading Black Dog.

Happy Birthday Angel “of my life”.

Mimi, Do you remember that? “Angel of my life”, “Light of my life”? I remember you referring to me as either - out at the ranch, in the kitchen, after you’d belly laughed at any of the conversations we used to have. Conversations about anything. You’re eyes were lights as you spent time with your … Continue reading Happy Birthday Angel “of my life”.

We’re breathing underwater.

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” “I think you don’t feel good, you’re tired, you’re scared, you feel alone, and there are a lot of unknowns right now.” https://youtu.be/WgKTCweubC8 We've all been told when we were littleWe could grow up and live a fairy tale,But no one ever bothered telling us thatThe storybook ending … Continue reading We’re breathing underwater.

Your balance and happiness are priceless.

I wish that I could be more than me; more than someone who lives waiting for something that will never happen. I wish that I could be more than sick, more than lonely, more than “I don’t feel well”, more than depressed, more than the anxiety the occupies my mind always at the worst time. … Continue reading Your balance and happiness are priceless.

The Blinding Truth of it All

So many people are going through the hardest time in their lives right now. Alone or lonely, lost or confused, frustrated or depressed, it’s all pretty much the same for us all. I just want you all to know: You are NOT alone. Every life matters. Every emotion matters. Every doubt, every tear, every bottle, … Continue reading The Blinding Truth of it All

A poem for a difficult week.

What’s the feeling you try, but can’t explain The one that tends to block blood flow from your veins? Oxygen suspended, like outer space Go ahead, take a breath before you suffocate. Call up your “friends” for breath and support After all, that’s what they’re there for Right? No, I forget, it’s on their accord … Continue reading A poem for a difficult week.

Three

https://youtu.be/2GNYSWeCwDg “I told you I'd spill my guts.I left you to clean it up,I'm bursting out of the.... Seems like now, it's impossible to work this out.I'm so committed to an old ghost town.Is it really that strange if I always wanna change?And if only - the time and space between us wasn't lonely,I'd disintegrate … Continue reading Three

Walking Away.

Come February, I’m struggling to get through the days of autoimmunity… having been exposed to illnesses, bacteria, and viruses a toddler’s immune system should fight off, but my defenseless, suppressed immune system cannot.It’s a never ending battle: “Do I push through this, not knowing if i will feel better or worse the next day?” “Will … Continue reading Walking Away.

Priorities.

My biggest source of pain, hurt, betrayal, and truth. Priorities. They show you what matters to other's - and when it doesn't turn out to be you, and you've given them your all... I wish I knew how to not wear my heart on my sleeve... Then I have heard that because I do, it … Continue reading Priorities.

🎶 I don’t have the answers…

I will always hold your fragile hand. "I don't care what you say - I'm not letting go." (I love that you laughed at that the other day.)I've walked behind you through my life, and now we enjoy the "remember when"s as I kneel at your bedside. I'm so thankful, so grateful, and ever so … Continue reading 🎶 I don’t have the answers…