Fear of the unknown.

Hopeless and beyond help, I was in so much pain. My doctors diagnosed me with several autoimmune diseases, fibromyalgia, depression, and anxiety in 2015. At this point, it had been 3 years (that felt like a lifetime) dealing with this, and it was only getting more unbearable by the day.

The medications stacked up.

My doctors were out of answers besides suggesting “exercise”… it got old fast.

The frustration behind the word made me sick. How dare they? Did they not see the fire and pain behind my tears?

I’ve been down and out. It lasted for years.

Until I saw a friend on Instagram working out from home. I finally felt a tug of strength behind the complete rubble of my body. “I’m getting worse… what do I have to lose?” I had nothing left. There was no risk, anymore.

I messaged her, and she told me about the program she was using. From the comfort of my home, I began moving my body more than it had moved in years.

My pain slowly turned into strength.

My depression and anxiety turned to confidence and security.

I had an enormous slip about 6 months in. I started to feel the chronic pain return… but I remembered how much I improved early on.

I said “NO” to giving up on myself. I knew eventually all of my work would pay off again.

January 1, 2020, my resolution came to light. When it got hard, I wanted to quit, but I didn’t.

5 months later, I haven’t quit. I refuse to allow myself to resort back to pain, depression, and anxiety.

20lbs down, my medications were too potent for me due to the weight loss. Doctors have cut my doses in HALF! I haven’t felt better about myself… ever. I will never allow myself to fall at another’s mercy again. 20lbs to go until my goal; I can’t wait to set another one for myself!

Now I know through the darkness, there is light. I just had to have the courage to grasp it.

I am more than the life I submitted myself to. I’ve learned through the process to believe in myself, because I’m worth it!

I know that there are others out there who feel the pain from life’s struggles. Once you are pulled in, finding a way out seems all but possible. I want that person to know that they are not alone! There is a light in their darkness, too. It’s ok to be afraid of the unknown, but it’s not ok to let the unknown hold you back. 🤍



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s