Autoimmune Disease

Your balance and happiness are priceless.

I wish that I could be

more than me;

more than someone who lives

waiting for something that will never happen.

I wish that I could be

more than sick,

more than lonely,

more than “I don’t feel well”,

more than depressed,

more than the anxiety the occupies my mind always at the worst time.

I wish I could be

social,

confident,

full of life,

alive.

I wish that I could be

more than what you need,

more than what you expect,

more than only a handful of “normal”.

I wish I could be

patient,

energetic,

ready for any adventure,

no matter when the opportunity presented itself.

I wish I wasn’t

obsessive,

tunnel visioned,

cyclical,

broken,

burnt out,

unresponsive to love

and resistant to the very communications that I plead for.

I wish I could feel

my beauty,

my potential,

the energy for my destiny

(because it’s enough).

I wish I knew

how ‘enough’ I truly am,

how much momentum I carry,

that being afraid is useless,

and being sad is a waste of time.

I wish I could see

the pain I inflict on my Creator

each time I want to be somebody else.

I needed a quick release.

I am 100% okay! So please do not worry about me. When the negativity builds up inside, if I don’t provide it a release, I won’t have that space to grow, to be better, to find love for myself.

Right now is so difficult for everyone in this world. It’s terrifying to not know what the outcome of this pandemic will be, but we have never truly known the outcome of each second in this life.

🤍,

Bailey

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