Walking Away.

Come February, I’m struggling to get through the days of autoimmunity… having been exposed to illnesses, bacteria, and viruses a toddler’s immune system should fight off, but my defenseless, suppressed immune system cannot.

It’s a never ending battle: “Do I push through this, not knowing if i will feel better or worse the next day?” “Will I pay for this later?” or “Will I be able to continue pressing on?”

I’ve said many times before: I’m so sick of being tired; and I’m so tired of being sick – each statement is 5x deeper than the last. My mind is worn out from the pain. My muscles are weak from the struggle. There’s no fight to defeat Sjögren’s and Fibromyalgia… I face this struggle head on.

I hate that my “Restart” was triggered. Within the fight to become stronger, my body collapsed again. I fight from doubting my capabilities, and wonder if I’ll be stuck with a pillow, blanket, charger, iPhone and iPad, water, and heating pad forever… This is my Goliath, and it must fall. Its a storm you’ll never adjust to, along with a different path to wellness every time.

Find Patience, if you think you have enough of it, you don’t. Understand that others may not understand, and accept the fact that another’s will to understand speaks volumes. Live Slowly. One day at a time. Do not over do or you will be set back into frustration and illness again – back to square one.

The little fur kids in the pics are my “feel better” crew. I love their cuddles, and they know exactly when they’re needed.

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