(This finished post has been hanging out in my drafts for a couples months. Though 4 months late, enjoy!)
Happy New Year, first off! 2019. Possibly the last “teen” year that we all will be around for. Whew. That’s kind of a big thought to fit in. 🤯
As of now, further into the new year than the 1st second, not much has happened to report, but I believe that the time between then and now allowed me to condense 2018 as much as possible.
Pain, tears, heartache, loss, anger, strength, weakness, memories, finding something bigger than us, love, family, shock…
All words that I would describe 2018 with. Now I’m not sure if age or experience allows the understanding process to set in fully, but I understand now what I wouldn’t be able to understand before. I came up with 3 very broad categories for the entirety of last year:
1. Life Will Take Away
And it hurts every time. Family, friend, spouse, etc…
In the hard times, you find out who loves you and is there for you – regardless. Regardless. Period.
2. I’m Sick, I Don’t Feel Well — Tell Them Something They Don’t Know
Anyone who is true in your life KNOWS of your body’s cruelty that you feel every second of your life. They FEEL with you, they CARE about you, they LOVE you, and they are SORRY for what you endure.
Sometimes it’s hard to not talk about. I see it as venting! The majority of the population – and probably those who surround you – do NOT see it the same as you do. It comes across to them as if you are complaining and consumed with yourself.
Big difference between the two. I got into the habit of telling people that “I don’t feel well” when I first got diagnosed. I didn’t. And it was easier to say out front than to let the question come out and have to go through all of the explaining to those who are around who maybe didn’t know.
When American’s ask “how are you?!” Most, MOST, most, do not seriously want the truth.
Dammit, we all have something in our lives that makes it somewhat difficult to adjust. Some may be more high maintenance, or maybe even less! But we. all. have. something. that is putting pressure on our every day lives.
American or not, though, if you put yourself in their shoes (which you can’t, there’s no such thing, I’m not even sure why I’m using the phrase, but it’s going to hang out in this sentence…) you would NOT want to sit and talk about how your skin is doing this, or your stomach did that, or your back, or your organs….
Be as positive as you can. YES, you need to vent, just change up the way you do it!
Sounds easy… it isn’t. Tell your loved one how hard you’re trying to make the change. Tell them you will need their help catching the moments and changing up your wording.
If you’re trying – so will they. ❤️
3. My God, Our Lives
When my Mimi fell ill last year, I was by her side as often as I could be. I felt like she was all that I had. Everything I struggled with, she did also. The positivity that came out of that woman shown like beams!! She lifted me up every time.
Want to know how? Let’s back track for just a second…
When she fell ill, she had several statements that I could never forget. One just so happened to be towards her last weeks: “You know what, Bailey? I wouldn’t change a thing.” She said that through her illness and falling down, more people had been brought back together and brought straight to Jesus than she could be thankful for. Strong woman in Christ, she was.
Through Jesus, you will find your life. Through His love, you will find comfort. Through His guidance, you will find peace.
This is where our title comes in. “New Year, New Me?”
You can try to renew yourself until you’re blue in the face, but let me tell you right now: that Bible that you have – open it’s pages.
It’s intimidating! Where do you even start? Bible.com (yes seriously).
The book you’ve set out isn’t just a book – it’s a lifeline.
“And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us.”
Romans 8:23 NLT
We are all in pain and anguish. There are many verses that explain our current bodies and the ones deserving to be described as “new”. On the website, you are able to search and find verses that fit your questions.
I cannot rid myself of all of this crazy nonsense and sickness, but one day, I can count on my body no longer being capable to be in such pain.
We can make ourselves better, we can improve and build onto what knowledge we have gained, but a “New Me” will not be found, nor gained until our names are called away from Earth and to our true Home.
Trust and patience is a lot, but it’s all we have for now!
This would be my definition of “A New Me”, until then, I will continue to build onto and better the “me” that I have.
I hope each one of you had a fun and safe New Years celebration! Now it’s back on to our regular old lives – with a hopeful new and self bettering addition in store!
(Photo taken Christmas Day 2018)-