Autoimmune Disease

Flooded.

With an emptiness I’m not able to describe.

It’s so hard to love yourself when so many other people judge you so harshly. As humans in general, we want to be accepted by the general public, but when the general public find a fault in your blood, they tend to cast you out for their lives.

How do you just leave?

You have no empathy. Have you no kindness as well? Do you even know who I am within a shell you cast around me of solitude? Do you know the troubles of which I go through to be “deserved of” this empty shell – when in fact, I’m trying to break free from this shell cast by another?

No love in this world anymore.

People come, and people go.

And when they go, they’re gone.

You’re disappeared from their mind like you were never there.

You probably weren’t anyways.

If you feel alone, don’t let it show. It’s only easier for them to chew you up and spit you out.

While I have the world at my fingertips, so much to be thankful for, so much to love and smile for – you’re strength goes numb and all of your weakness falls to the ground.

Exposed.

And judged again.

Exiled with the loneliness inside of my head.

Shadows settle on the place, that you left
Our minds are troubled by the emptiness
Destroy the middle, it’s a waste of time
From the perfect start to the finish line

And if you’re still breathing, you’re the lucky ones
‘Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs
Setting fire to our insides for fun
Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong
The lovers that went wrong

We are the reckless
We are the wild youth
Chasing visions of our futures
One day we’ll reveal the truth
That one will die before he gets there
And if you’re still bleeding, you’re the lucky ones
‘Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone
We’re setting fire to our insides for fun
Collecting pictures from the flood that wrecked our home
It was a flood that wrecked this

And you caused it
And you caused it
And you caused it

Well I’ve lost it all, I’m just a silouhette
A lifeless face that you’ll soon forget
My eyes are damp from the words you left
Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest
Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest

And if you’re in love, then you are the lucky one
‘Cause most of us are bitter over someone
Setting fire to our insides for fun
To distract our hearts from ever missing them
But I’m forever missing him

And you caused it
And you caused it
And you caused it

Brady,

We’re the lucky ones who survived the hatred of the world, just to give it another try. So we could fall in love. And try to figure out all of they grey. I thank you. And I love you. They weren’t good for us anyways.♥️♥️♥️

🦋☀️❤️,

Bailey

3 thoughts on “Flooded.

  1. You capture how empty and dark the world can be. We encounter this more than we should, unfortunately. I try to wake up with an optimistic mind and pour kindness into the world, but it doesn’t always return the favor. The way the energy of this life works is as long as their is love, their will be hate…

    But you found your joy within your husband 😀 You’ll always have a safe zone to come home to. Away from the hate, protected by love. Take care, Bailey 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re so right. And then there are the questions: “would we actually know love without all of the hate?” And “would we know kindness without cruelty?”
      Unfortunately, I believe the answer is no.

      It’s difficult when you know the darkness, and so I also wake up with optimism (after coffee 😆), my goal when (and if) I encounter anyone is for them to walk away even just a little bit happier or more positive than when we first came into contact.

      Anthony, you will find someone that is and has always meant to be yours. “Don’t look for it though”- my Mimi’s words that I will never forget. Hand yourself, your entire heart over to God. Trust Him. He knows you better than anyone on earth ever could. No pain goes to waste. You either learn, or you grow. And solely from those, God will bring the right person to you when, and never before, He knows you’re ready. His timing is perfect. Never too soon or too late. Trust, and hand it over. ❤️😉

      I’m not sure how Brady puts up with a lot that I don’t even want to put up with from me. The vast majority doesn’t deal with it. So the amount of gratitude that I have towards that man is far more than words can describe. He’s too good to me.❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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