Autoimmune Disease · Sjögren's Syndrome · Uncategorized

Authoritarian,

“She loves me no matter what.

He loves me no matter what.”

-Calum Scott

I’ve always had a list of things in my head; what to do, what not to do. What hurts, what fills up the emptiness. What breaks down, what rebuilds – and the time difference between negative and positive is insane.

“It takes 1,000 ‘atta boy’s to erase one ‘you’re an idiot’.”

-Dr. Phil McGraw

Untested Concepts That Hang Out in My Head:

They’re written by someone who is:

  • “lost enough to never need another lesson in heartache again”-autumn,
  • Never truly appreciated herself and how far she has come after viewing her current past as nothing more than failure.
  • Always craved for anyone to want to try to understand, while knowing they never will.
  • Tries to find safety in her childhood self, even though the largest amount of pain can be found stuffed within those years.
  • Never felt a place to belong.
  • Always lingered in between staying and letting go for far too long,
  • Learned that letting go far exceeds holding on in this life – and that, my friend, is backwards.

“Why is life given to those with no future, those God has surrounded with difficulties? I cannot eat for sighing; my groans pour out like water. What I always feared has happened to me. What I dreaded has come true. I have no peace, no quietness. I have no rest; only trouble comes.”

‭‭Job‬ ‭3:23-26‬ ‭NLT‬‬

To see this verse click here👈🏼

 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

To see this verse click here 👈🏼

 

“Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:3-4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

To see this verse click here 👈🏼

 

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

‭‭John‬ ‭16:33‬ ‭NLT‬‬

To see this verse click here 👈🏼

 

My list goes something simply like this:

1. Discipline your children – but leave them wild! Curiosity inspires a natural craving to learn.

2. Understand, YOU and YOU ONLY are their soft place to fall – the only softness, proof of love, proof of kindness, and proof of patience they first found in this world; they trust you to always be there. Otherwise, the free fall is a bottomless pit of depression and anxiety because they will have figured out, then, that they are their only sense of unconditional protection. No one else, aka “friends” will be seen in the rear view mirror as your child ventures into the world – there is no guarantee of support and comfort – even as they grow into adulthood, your role as their provider (though it changes greatly) does not end. You will always be their stability when friends and partners will not be able to maintain their promises. The world will break their heart time and time again – while made from only parts of you – they will run home to their only (hopeful and trusted) source of unconditional protection — always.

3. You know that you love them. Make sure that they know, too. They won’t ever know unless you tell them. Show them their worth. Show them their value. Teach them how to grow into a member of society who will forever hold your legacy. Teach them that they are important and needed in this world.

4. Do not/Stop telling them to “get over it” or “that’s life, life’s tough” or “everyone feels that way”. If those words come out of your mouth, you are not using the ears that God gave you that happen to outnumber the place that words just flow freely out of. Listen (and listen only) to your child. They need you. You’re all that they have. Hopefully..

❤️

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”

‭‭John‬ ‭14:27‬ ‭NLT‬‬

To see this verse click here👈🏼

 

 

✌🏼🦋☀️,

Bailey

3 thoughts on “Authoritarian,

  1. Man..Before I left home, I got into a huge argument with the mother of my children. It was heartbreaking. I had to call my mom for reinforcement. Hours later, my dad showed up on my doorstep at 3am with a smile on his face, ready to talk with me. I have been fortunate enough to be blessed with such great parents. We don’t always see eye to eye, but when I’m hurt, they are there. Especially my dad. He’s been solid rock throughout my entire life. He showed me how to handle fatherhood in more ways than one. I hope I can be for my boys, just even a quarter of what he is for me. Good post, Bailey.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Just the mere fact that you put forth the effort to show them the amount of love you have for them, while they will never understand the scale a father’s love is measured with is enough. Being there for them is enough. If you are an island that they can sail or swim away from, but still are able to come back to whenever or wherever they are in their lives is enough.

      I’m so sorry that you are going through this with your ex. Trust though, there is something in this place that you are in that offers a learning experience just as seasons change your life, keep learning, keep bettering yourself. If you don’t allow yourself to receive the messages that God is attempting to send you, then you are not allowing yourself to better your life – you will not be gaining the endurance that is required of you by His word, and you will not be living your life in love – only because you will not be allowing yourself to love yourself – and you must love yourself truly before you can love anyone else. (These are words of my opinion, I hope that you can read these and see/trust that I am not passing any judgement by you. That is not my place by any means!!) I believe in you, Trey. Don’t let anyone take away or lessen the love that you ARE as your boys’ father. Only you can protect and love those boys in the way that you do. They will always only have ONE father. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. I’m here for you, though I will never understand your positioning, I can attempt to relate by past experiences.

      Like

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