“She loves me no matter what.
He loves me no matter what.”
I’ve always had a list of things in my head; what to do, what not to do. What hurts, what fills up the emptiness. What breaks down, what rebuilds – and the time difference between negative and positive is insane.
“It takes 1,000 ‘atta boy’s to erase one ‘you’re an idiot’.”
-Dr. Phil McGraw
Untested Concepts That Hang Out in My Head:
They’re written by someone who is:
- “lost enough to never need another lesson in heartache again”-autumn,
- Never truly appreciated herself and how far she has come after viewing her current past as nothing more than failure.
- Always craved for anyone to want to try to understand, while knowing they never will.
- Tries to find safety in her childhood self, even though the largest amount of pain can be found stuffed within those years.
- Never felt a place to belong.
- Always lingered in between staying and letting go for far too long,
- Learned that letting go far exceeds holding on in this life – and that, my friend, is backwards.
“Why is life given to those with no future, those God has surrounded with difficulties? I cannot eat for sighing; my groans pour out like water. What I always feared has happened to me. What I dreaded has come true. I have no peace, no quietness. I have no rest; only trouble comes.”
Job 3:23-26 NLT
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT
“Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation.”
Proverbs 3:3-4 NLT
“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33 NLT
My list goes something simply like this:
1. Discipline your children – but leave them wild! Curiosity inspires a natural craving to learn.
2. Understand, YOU and YOU ONLY are their soft place to fall – the only softness, proof of love, proof of kindness, and proof of patience they first found in this world; they trust you to always be there. Otherwise, the free fall is a bottomless pit of depression and anxiety because they will have figured out, then, that they are their only sense of unconditional protection. No one else, aka “friends” will be seen in the rear view mirror as your child ventures into the world – there is no guarantee of support and comfort – even as they grow into adulthood, your role as their provider (though it changes greatly) does not end. You will always be their stability when friends and partners will not be able to maintain their promises. The world will break their heart time and time again – while made from only parts of you – they will run home to their only (hopeful and trusted) source of unconditional protection — always.
3. You know that you love them. Make sure that they know, too. They won’t ever know unless you tell them. Show them their worth. Show them their value. Teach them how to grow into a member of society who will forever hold your legacy. Teach them that they are important and needed in this world.
4. Do not/Stop telling them to “get over it” or “that’s life, life’s tough” or “everyone feels that way”. If those words come out of your mouth, you are not using the ears that God gave you that happen to outnumber the place that words just flow freely out of. Listen (and listen only) to your child. They need you. You’re all that they have. Hopefully..
“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”
John 14:27 NLT