Autoimmune Disease

6 and 10

 

I found myself singing “You Are My Sunshine” today. If you’ve read my past blogs, you would think that sadness and depression would instantly overcome me, but it wasn’t like that at all.

In fact, when I actually heard the words that were coming out of my mouth in melody, I stopped – fully expecting the above as well – I waited to see how I was feeling… the tone was happy, and when I felt what my heart was telling my brain, I felt joy and peace overcome me.

They’re watching over us, and Mimi just knew that I needed a smile, pulled from deep in my heart, after the year 2018. ☀️

It’s only Tuesday. Waiting for Saturday.

This would mark the very first year in our history of all married-history that I am actually excited (I’ll explain) to celebrate being married to him for 6 years, together for officially 1 decade, and never “separated/broken up/on a break” for one single millisecond! Sometimes, though, it’s completely normal to love someone, but at the time they just might not be at the top of your “people I like right now” list. It’s ok! It happens!

When a woman has a husband like you, she knows what she has, and she knows that she’d be more than stupid to let you go.

Did you know that I fell in love with you the very second that you asked me at dinner if it was ok that you checked your phone? True story. Reality isn’t necessarily a fairytale. Who wants a fairytale anyways? It would be so boring!

And after dinner at Joe’s Crab Shack, we went to see “Yes Man”. (You know, before movie theaters had the super comfy seats and served you alcohol and dinner…)There were a couple times that you let out your “actually laughing” laugh. I got a tad nervous at that moment, until I remembered how many people through my life had commented on my laugh or told me to “shush it down”. 😂

You fit so perfectly into my family of insanely loud and crazy laughers, and now we just make people laugh at our laughs together. 😉

I was so worried after our first (BLIND) date, after our dinner and movie, stop by the park to swing and talk, and after our first kiss, that you would find someone better. More fitting. I was 17 and in high school. You were about to turn 21 and in college, in a frat….

But we never ran out of things to say, and so we never did stop texting.

You went to a frat meeting in the hometown that your frat had began in, and the first thing you did after arriving back, was come to see me. That’s when I knew that you were just as blindly crazy about me as I was about you. ❤️

I met your dad while I was in your hometown for a cheerleading competition, and I met your mom, along with the rest of your childhood friends and family a while later. I knew they were disappointed to know that you wouldn’t be coming back home after college, but no way could I let you go…

You told me that you’d do anything for me, and dedicated “With Me” by Sum 41 to me.

We were already passed “I love you” and “I trust you” with my heart, “so here you go”….

Somehow within the 2 years of dating and 2 years of engagement, you never once grew tired of me – and you never once got “on my nerves” – no matter how many times you texted me, and that had never happened – ever. 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

Our wedding came and went. We went to Disney World, Universal Studios, and Islands of Adventure for our honeymoon… seemed fitting, considering our first date! 😉🥰😍

Our vows were tested right away – and little did we know, they would be tested from that second…..– until. Somehow you’ve loved me through it. And yes, I will always love you through it, too.

When you got accepted to nursing school, we celebrated, and we had so much reason to! Oh, the stress that we would feel instantly dropped upon our shoulders, sinking us further and further into the desert’s cracking ground. Keep going. The oasis may be a mirage up ahead, but we’re going for it. Period.

And look at you now…

🎶 you’re gettin paid birrrd! 🎶 😂😂

All of this yuck of yuck… (I will not name it, because it does not have any power over our marriage, promises, and love that we’ve grown from our first date to now!) has tested us, and many nights, it’s gotten the best of us.

Every – single – anniversary, we’ve fought. We’ve been exhausted from traveling and loving all of the family that we have over the Holidays, that upon arrive home, we just collapse – no energy left for each other.

This year is different.

2018 tested us more than we thought we could be tested.

I’m confident that our lives together have much more to throw at us, much more to test us with, much more to stretch us as far apart as EVIL can – in attempt to break us apart, but we know and have to remember that we got married in God’s house. Under God. Before God. Promising God. And knowing all the while:

“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

‭‭Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT

Are we ready for the road ahead?

Do we know how to prepare?

Is there some type of “ending address” to plug into our phone for directions? (Maybe we could try “Jesus”. 😂🥰) Ha!

Are we able to predict the bumps, hills, and mountains to climb?

Are we able to see that we will be without food and water, tracking desert for miles and miles?

Can we predict the wonderful happiness and love in between hardships?

No.

I’m with you. You’re with me. And God is with us. And that is all that we need – all that we’ve had since the very beginning, one decade, 10 years ago from the date of 1-12-19.

A triple-braided cord is not easily broken. I know that if we keep doing what we’re doing, if we keep our minds open to learn and try new things, if we are always willing to approach situations differently, if we continue to call each other out on mistakes, if we are always willing to communicate through the exhaustion, tears, anger, frustrations, hurt, and most of all: if we continue to pray together….. NOTHING, NO ONE, NOWHERE, at ANY TIME can touch us.

It’s gotten bumpy.

Prepare to take some blind dives off of cliffs in complete trust that our triple-braided cord will secure us – til death do us part –

And as my precious Mimi wrote to us, in a note only to be opened after she had gone home to Jesus,

“Don’t fix what’s not broken.”

Happy 6 years in marriage and 10 years in life, lovey! I love you with all that I am, and seemingly impossible, more every single day!😘

 

I have to put this song on here. This is marriage. It takes a while to learn what it’s all about, and I know I don’t have it all correctly, but coming out of 2018, I brought the importance of seeing your perspective, Brady. I love you. Looking through each other’s perspectives is the first step/hint/lesson that shows us that we are now out of the wading and into the deep. We will forever discover deeper waters. It’s not all good, but a lot of it is! It’s not all bad, either, though much will be. The majority of it depends on what we make of it! Always in deep water though, continuing at a consistent rate to stay afloat while not floating away from each other’s grasp. We will find things we would never think to learn, things we’d never view as a mountain, on a moment of solid ground – times we never thought we would need to listen to God’s voice in a moment we ran into, resting our legs: “This mountain ahead was not meant for you to carry; this mountain was not meant for you to move; this mountain was meant for you to climb. Trust me – and smile at each other in the process. Learn through cliffs and falling rock (accomplishments) that I have set in front of you. Do not doubt me, do not let go of each other – do not stop learning of the beauty, see the beauty of the world I have made, the opportunity, the freedom that I have given you – do not stray. Be together. Be strong together. Be a force of love for each other and the world as you are underneath my hand. I will be with you “together and apart”, because I love you, my children. You are finding your single purpose, to love – and to spread love as one.”

 

 

 

Hey. Brady. I’m not ready. But I love you, so let’s go. We got this. 🥰😘

❤️☀️🦋🌻,

BayBay

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