Autoimmune Disease · Depression · Fibromyalgia · Health · Mental Illness · Pain · Sjögren's Syndrome · Uncategorized

That Big Red LABEL

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I haven’t really mentioned anything about my life directly in a little while, but good news is we are taking away the:

Bipolar label!

Now they just call me chronically depressed. 😕

I hate that they’re right.

Only sometimes though.

Do you how hard it is? To have a stamp on your head, at age 15…

You’re still a baby. You have no idea of anything about the world yet. You’ve barely started to make yourself brave enough to come out of a shell (that you didn’t even know was there). You’re almost there, about to break out and add your personality, goals, desires, and LOVE into the world…

Annnnd here’s a big red stamp on your forehead now: Bipolar.

In high school, it’s hard to not be self conscious with such a bold diagnosis.

I hate that I was WRONGLY diagnosed. What if I could have been helped better – sooner? What if I was being treated with another form of “anti-depress me”, and my stress levels didn’t get so high to trigger my autoimmune and fibromyalgia to “switch on” like a ceiling light…

What if’s will ruin your life.

So much happiness overwhelmed me, warmed my already happy self with a sense of normalcy. (Psh. No such thing.) But it just felt…. I just felt…. like I belonged somewhere for the first time in my life… Somewhere outside of the lines that defined “bipolar”, and I felt…

Free.

Everybody’s got a different story;
Everybody wanna give their selves away,
But I’m still afraid

If we can stay out of their field of vision,
If we can keep ourselves a half a world away,
Honey we’ll be OK

The world can be so cruel,
But I will sing for you
This cradle song
All night long.

Everybody’s got their own opinion;
Everybody’s got a place were they belong,
Like a favorite song.
I don’t want to be a faded memory.
I don’t want to be the ghost that you cant shake –
I want to be the real thing.

The world can be so cruel,
But I will sing for you
This cradle song
All night long.

No one said we were victims honey;
No one said we had to keep the things we get,
And there ain’t no regrets.
And all our friends, they moved to Hollywood
But we ain’t that desperate yet, oh no
Ain’t nothing like the real thing.

The world can be so cruel,
And let me sing for you
This cradle song
All night long.

-“Cradlesong” – Rob Thomas

❤️☀️🦋,

Bailey

2 thoughts on “That Big Red LABEL

    1. You’re hilarious! Haha thank you though!!! Quirky, but I think at the time, that was the point??? 😂😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️

      You keep being you too. That’s your greatest strength! No one else can be you 😉
      I’ve seen some nice smiles from you! And buffed up… everything! 😊
      And also some skylines that I’m jealous of. I need to show you the skyline out here sometime. Will come up in the next future pictures! ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

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