Negative words circulate in your head. You can push them back, but it’s a constant fight isn’t it?
Let’s try something here…
I want to list all of the words that are constantly being pushed to the back of my head… some old, some new, some brought on by myself.
Herrrrreee weeeee goooooo:
Blonde. (Open those eyes now, love.)
Easy To Leave.
Retaliated Against…..wait for it…………….at least a decade ok?
Don’t talk to me
if you feel that way.
I’m sick. I didn’t ask to be.
But I’m also sick of being judged for something that I cannot change.
No, not you.
The stabbing pains in my diaphragm if I move too quickly,
if I pick things up too quickly as I clean my home… because I don’t sit at home and do nothing.
”Because I’m sick.” – What an excuse though huh?
No, I mean my ribs – refusing to expand as they should, along with my lungs.
They are just…stuck.
I try to be like everyone else…you know, I try to breathe.
I guess I can’t be “normal”.
No, I mean my heartbeat… beating behind my lungs, behind my ribs.
I guess my heart can’t have it easy either. (Pile those words up onto it, why don’t ya?)
That would be too “normal” too…
I don’t need your permission.
You don’t define “normal” for me.
Move aside. Let me breathe deeper every inhale. Let my muscles make more room for my breath and heart. Wait for me to stretch my swollen costochondrital joints (oh I’m sorry, you didn’t understand that word? Cartilage. Better?) Add some heat, take some Tylenol and Tramadol.
I can breathe normally.
If you had just given me time.
Time to break out of these caged ribs.