I hate knowing that the ultra sound tech knows what she’s seeing. She knows what’s wrong or not wrong with you and is unable to say without the radiologist looking at the screening first.
Every line she used to measure my kidneys, liver, spleen… and whatever else they requested imagining of, every sound of blood flow, every random blue and red splotch of color on the screen, while she’s clicking away and saving each image that the radiologist has in question.
I’m terrified. If they find something wrong, good, let’s get it treated! Help me to feel better again! If they don’t find something wrong, what scan/lab/blood work/X-ray will they send me to next?
How traumatic for a 22 year old to walk into a room, to lay underneath a bone scanning machine as it lifts closer to the horizontal X-ray screen laying above you, starting at your head and ending at your feet 1 hour later.
How distrusting for a 22 year old, who is in extreme pain, have to do a gallbladder scan…. to have dye injected into an IV and then wait for about 20 for the dye to reach my gallbladder, while I am laying underneath yet another X-ray, so the surgeon can measure my gallbladder function.
How embarrassing to take labs into a front office, when you feel like everyone is staring at you, but theyre really not..
How frustrating to change antibiotics – or just plain pills even – so often that I have more than half of the doses left… still.
Every tearful trip into the ER. Every ultrasound that was taken there, every CAT scan and round of IV pain medication … “whelp. You can go home.” “No. I don’t think you understand. Without this medication I’m crouched down in pain and trying not to lose fluid through my tears.”
Please don’t let this start again. It can’t. I can’t.
I’ll do what I have to do… but please don’t make me start completely over again..
There’s something wrong. Please find it this go round. 😥