Autoimmune Disease · Depression · Fibromyalgia · Health · Pain · Sjögren's Syndrome · Uncategorized

Invisible Outside.

Sjögren gets bored.

And

Fibromyalgia is a silent assassin.

My moisture producing glands have been attacked

Until

They are completely annihilated.

Every single mucosa membrane – dry.

3 years ago we got this answer.

I was a competitive cheerleader.

I used to lift people and defy gravity against all odds… but,

3 years into finding the correct combination and doses of which medications (that also constantly change),

You will find me working out to strengthen my joints.

Strengthening my joints doesn’t consist of much anymore. I’m unable to do what I once did – how I defied gravity; how i loved it, I’m unable to even compete with lifting a person.

I simply use my own body as gym equipment, because my hands, hips, arms, legs, and feet are enough weight to provide enough resistance in order to strengthen my weakened, loose muscles.

Annihilation.

After a workout day, you rest. Let your muscles heal.

Sjögrens is bored though, so you will feel it eating away at your muscle, tendons, ligaments.

I feel unsteady on my feet just walking through the house now. I can feel my joints slip and how hard my body works just to move from place to place. I used to do cartwheels 🤸‍♂️ on balance beams! I couldn’t imagine even standing on one now…

I’m 26 and my muscles are disintegrating, my bones pop with everyday movement because the muscles and tendons that once held them so strong, the ligaments that connect one half a a joint to another half, are getting weaker.

I am falling apart quite literally inside. This is the invisible illness you hear so much about.

Fibromyalgia and Sjögrens directly effect my marriage and other relationships with family and friends..they have taken everything from me. Stripped me dry – literally.

I don’t want to be sick anymore.

I was dealt a horrible hand and I doubt that anyone would dispute that..

But you can’t choose your hand, and folding isn’t an option.

You can learn to deal. To cope. To climb. To fight. To live. And I might cry, but

I will keep my hope. I will continue to pray. I will continue my doctor’s plan.

And I will continue to trust, because despite the fact that I fail Him everyday, He still loves me.

 

✌🏼&💜,

Bailey

7 thoughts on “Invisible Outside.

  1. I understand this completely! I was diagnosed 4 years ago at age 31. I used to run miles and miles every other day and feel fabulous, now I get tired from taking a shower. It’s beyond rough and sometimes I can’t believe that I’m not who I once was. It’s hard to be young and dealing with this. It’s a day by day battle I know.

    Like

  2. Hi, Bailey, Thank you for sharing this so “beautifully” if I can call it that. I also was diagnosed with Sjogrens. I have always been one of the silent ones. I just recently started a blog, believing that I can be an encouragement, but still find it difficult to express with such freedom. I am so thankful that He uses each of us with our own abilities. Thank you for sharing yours. It was cool. Donna

    Liked by 1 person

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