Autoimmune Disease

Learning to Let Go

Crashing.

Falling.

Learning.

Always learning. What one daily routine looks like, may end up being too much to do at once come around the next time. How do you learn?

“Listen to your body”, everyone says, “only you know what’s best for you.” Want to know something kind of funny? I know what’s best for me about as much as you know what’s best for me. That’s right. Zip. Zippo. Zilch. Zero. Every day is different, and any wrongly combined errands or chores could keep me off of my feet for several days, if I’m not careful. 

When I listen to my body, all I hear is a chalkboard scratching, teeth grinding, cotton ball squeezing yell that sounds exactly like: “PAIN!!!! 😩”

I’ve been pushing so far for so long. Moving to a new home to get away from the mold. Packing and unpacking. Getting adjusted. Allergies being miserably high on their own without my Sjögren’s and Fibromyalgia adding to the mix.

New symptom: skin rashes. 👍🏼

I’ve never dealt with anything having to do with skin. And now suddenly, it’s so dry, too itchy, burning for no reason, red all over, peeling away at my fingertips, breaking out in rashes…etc.

It’s so hard to be positive about these diseases that stole my life away. It’s so hard to be positive when hope seems too far away to grasp. It’s so hard to be positive when all you feel is life chipping away at your body as if you were made out of a beautiful, shining, glowing marble.

I’m a piece of work alright. I want so badly to figure out the positivity in this battle – this battle that I can’t go over, under, or around, but only through.

As this article states: “I’ll see you on the other side.”

👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼Check out this LINK:

When Life’s Demands Wear on You Until Pain Says ‘Enough’
👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼Click the above LINK!
That’s my life right now (link).

When is too much too much?

And how do I express that to friends and family without a negative response in return?

This being sick role sure involves a lot of juggling… I’m not good a juggling… who signed me up for this part in life?

“You intended to harm me, but God meant you for good.”

I guess I’m not the one with all of the answers, nor do I have to be. I just have to live the best life that I can and have the ability for.

Gods doing great with His reasons so far. I’ve learned more than I could ever ask or know there was to learn about myself.

Just be me. Be strong. And stand tall… or sit, sit tall. Because no one else can be me. I’m not done with my role in this life.

It really just would be so awesome to KNOW of a positive reason… but I can wait. I will have patience.

In the meantime, I’ll focus on what is too much for the day that is today and what can wait until tomorrow. 💜

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.”-Psalms 27:7

✌🏼&💜,

Bailey

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