Autoimmune Disease

Reassurance.

This evening, my husband was trying to help me get comfortable into bed. We aren’t sure, yet again, what’s going on with me, but rheumatoid arthritis is a front runner… And I said after a moment of silence,

“You know, when I was in 6th grade, we had a frequent substitute teacher who had RA. I always felt so bad for her because her fingers were almost completely sideways. But it was never something I thought back then that I may be facing in my life.”

Brady responded:

“We’ll get through it.”

Without hesitation. Magical words. “We”. Warmed my body and made my brain release endorphins that craved to be let out of their cages so badly. “We”… We’re a team. (And he thinks so too). Brady can be a very quiet soul. He doesn’t speak his feelings often. And those precious and keep sake words and just something that hit me so softly and dispensed my pain away for just a second. Thank you Brady. For your kindness, for your love, for your support. I couldn’t love you more. And somehow, someday I will. Which right now I feel is so NOT possible. I love you. 😘

“Erase, Rewind;

Wish I could every time.

The hurt, the pain cuts so deep

but when I’m weak, You’re strong

and Your power, I can carry on.

And my scars say that you won’t ever leave.

I see it in the cross,

The nails you took for me.

Scars can change the world;

Scars can set me free.

They remind me of Your faithfulness

And all You’ve brought me through

They teach me that my brokenness is something you can use.

They show me where I’ve been and that I’m not there anymore;

Thats what scars are for.

“What Scars Are For” – Mandisa

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