Autoimmune Disease

Facebook.

It’s kind of like a window into people’s lives. You see friends going on family vacations, friends getting married/having babies, family pictures… etc…

It’s picture perfect. Picture perfect Facebook.

Here’s what you’ll see on my facebook:

My husband and I smiling, a ton of pictures of my four pets who are children to me.

You’ll read: “Stay at home wife, married to Brady, Studied at West Texas A&M University…etc…”

Reading that back, I want that life. Dang! Stay at home wife… working husband.. went to college, lucky.

Facebook never tells you everything. Or maybe its that we just show our best selves, which honestly can become a lie, depending on what you hide.

“I wandered through fiction to look for the truth, burred beneath all the lies. I stood at a distance to feel who you are, hiding myself in your eyes…

What I chose not to show in my Facebook profile is:

Stay at home wife: because I’m medically unable to hold a job. I have pain. So much pain. And the word PAIN doesn’t begin to describe the battle. Pain; that causes depression and anxiety, insomnia, fatigue, nausea, and fear of physical contact.

I would love to hold a job. I would love to be able to wake up everyday without hurting. I would love to be able to have friends and be social. But people see me as someone who is unreliable. I’m not unreliable, my health is. And I hate that.

Working husband: who works extra days to make up for my nonexistent paycheck.

Studied at West Texas A&M University: And had to drop out my Senior 1 Semester because my health overtook me. The medication made my memory nonexistent, so taking a test became impossible. I began failing. So I knew it was over.

Beyond the Facebook is a life. A life that is far from perfect, but a life that I love. I cherish everything that I own, that I have, that has me.

Facebook is fake. Facebook is first impressions. Facebook is best foot forward. Facebook is not the real me.

I’ve looked at facebook and become sad that others have children or a home of their own. I’ve looked at facebook and felt behind, unsocial, alone. But in reality I know that is so far from the truth.

I have an amazing husband, who is supportive and loving and forgiving, and hard working and the best friend I could ever ask for.

I have a family that has been more than supportive through my life. I’ve made some choices that not all people would consider great, but they worked for me – and my family backed me all the way with those.

I have a home full of precious and loving fur babies that have been with me all the way. Chachi (chiweenie) continues to check on me, because she can sense when I’m not feeling well, as well as Dottie (Border/Heeler). She cuddles up to me just like a furry heating pad. 🙂 Pancake (cat) follows me around the house meowing, and begging me to hold him, and Taco (cat) only really is seen regarding food.

I couldn’t be more thankful for my life. My completely crazy, chaotic, lovable, and imperfect life full of unpredictable feel good/feel horrible days.

“. . .So live like you mean it. And love until you feel it. It’s all that we need in our lives. So stand on the edge with me, hold back your fear and see, nothing is real until it’s gone.” – The Goo Goo Dolls

Regardless of what you decide to show online, I suggest living your life to fullest. Even if (like me) some days that means you’re unable to move from your bed, or if it means climbing Mt. Everest, don’t dream while you live, live your dreams.

#beautifullife

#becauseitmatters

#becauseyoumatter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6 thoughts on “Facebook.

  1. I love this post. It’s completely true and what so many people see when they look at Facebook. I’m so glad your smart brain tells you the truth though. It is fake. It is showy. It is needy. It should never make you feel like less of a person. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are amazingly kind. You have this and I am proud of you!!! Couldn’t love you more Bailey!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Couldn’t love you more either Mom!!! Thank you!!!! I love that you check to see for new posts. Makes me feel so special. And thank you for calling me strong!!!! I want to be but sometimes I just feel so weak!
      Love you sweetness!!! 😘😘😘😘

      Like

  2. Wow. Just wow. Your writing is very impressive. You’re tough. Brady is tough. Combined, y’alls bond is unbreakable.

    Keep writing! Release what’s inside; do not bottle up.

    Liked by 1 person

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